A Legend is Hatched! I Make a Movie!

Yes, this is real! And I have the photos to prove it!

When one is as famous in her own mind as I am, it’s important to occasionally ask, “What should I do with the massive amount of fame that has been bestowed on me by the powers of me?” I like to ask myself this question in between signing my autograph at Bergdorf’s (where they insist on calling it a “receipt”) and at the 2^nd Avenue Deli (where they also insist on calling it a “receipt”). In these troubled times, there was, really, only one answer: it was time for me to make a movie.     

Once I had decided to make a movie, I sat in my living room, and I looked to my photo of Barbra Streisand. Then I looked at my other photo of Barbra Streisand. And then I looked at my third photo of Barbra Streisand. And that is when I knew that my movie would be written and directed by me.

Then I looked at my photograph of Joan Didion and I thought: “Some people ask why Iago is evil. And some people ask if that role is available—and if maybe it would be possible to totally rewrite the script.”  And, sitting there between Barbra and Joan, that’s when I knew that there was no denying nature, and that I should also be the star. I tell you these things not by way of personal revelation, but so you know who you are reading—and because I like to talk about myself.

Next I looked back to my three Barbras (one on each wall because the fourth wall is the audience) and decided to use my apartment as a filming location.

Now that the important decisions had been made, it was time for me to start filming! And I learned so much in the process! I learned about cameras. I learned about lighting. And I learned where my building’s service entrance is, since it turns out you cannot disguise film equipment as Louis Vuitton luggage—especially when you do not own Louis Vuitton luggage. The same is true for Goyard luggage.

I am excited to keep learning things like “how to throw a premiere party at Bergdorf’s” and “how to win an Oscar.” If anyone knows about these things, please let me know. And please think about them while looking at these behind-the-scenes photos. Because, yes, this film is really happening. So feel free to dress up as me for Halloween!

***

Yes, this is real. A Legend is Hatched is becoming a film (series)! We recently completed filming—with an all-around amazing and talented group of people—and are very excited to get the film out in the world (December!). In the meantime, here are some behind-the-scenes photos.

Yes, I really did write AND direct. With cinematography by the incredible Sancheev Ravichandran. And produced (and kept from chaos) by the amazing Madeline Stephenson.

Obviously, there was going to be a chaise. Featuring the fabulous production design of Grace Lees.

Movie star lighting by Andre Bonk, who brought Hollywood to the UWS. And, yes, the only place to put the monitor was in my bathroom.

Did I mention that I also starred in the film?

Some serious acting AND directing going on.

The film also stars the hilarious— and dapper— Mike Iveson! And featuring more Grace Lees production design.

I assume this is when I was giving Mike a genius piece of direction.

Important props.

And, yes, there will be music! Composed by the talented Jennifer Lucy Cook (who I think is maybe trying to tell me something with that tempo marking).

A prop. But also more than a prop.

Our Executive Producer.

Footnotes:

Yes, this is really is real.

I actually have four pieces of Barbra themed artwork in my apartment.

“What makes Iago evil” is from Play it As it Lays.

Special Announcement:

In other exciting news for my apartment, on Monday the 30th I am hosting an event for Roundabout Theatre Company’s GenR program, featuring a special performance by Laura Benanti. If you want to see some behind-the-scenes photos of the event, follow along on my Instagram (also for photos of my cat!).