A Legend is Hatched! Bonus: Passover!
Like the gentiles’ Passion Play—or, in this case, Passion, the first fragrance from the Elizabeth Taylor collection.
I think it is important to treat every occasion as an exercise in maximizing bazzaz, which is why I am in a continual competition with Christmas trees and fireworks and “Bazzaz,” the song by Kay Thompson. So with Passover starting tomorrow night, it is time to for my annual— for the second year in a row— sharing of my very own Hollywood Haggadah, which, like MGM, features more stars than are in heaven, a state the Jews do not believe in (unless it’s metaphorical and about perfectly flavored pickles or Bergdorf’s not being crowded).
To quote myself and give some background on my Haggadah:
My Haggadah would have everything: Drama! Comedy! Excess! Elizabeth Taylor! That’s right, my Haggadah would be the inspiring story of the making of 1963’s (originally 1960’s then 1961’s and then 1962’s) Cleopatra.
My Haggadah would, of course, involve a performance. Like the gentiles’ Passion Play—or, in this case, Passion, the first fragrance from the Elizabeth Taylor collection.
And an excerpt:
Once upon a time, Elizabeth Taylor, her future fifth and sixth husband Richard Burton, and a film crew went to make the greatest movie ever made. They left Hollywood and went to Egypt, which was actually a studio backlot in Rome. But all did not go as planned, since, much like the story you are about to hear, no one had really bothered to think this venture through; and the script, also much like the story you are about to hear, lacked cohesion. So Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, and the film crew wanted to hurry up and get this movie made so they could get out of Egypt (actually Rome).
Read the whole thing here:
Victoria’s Hollywood Haggadah
(the above is a link that everyone is supposed to click preferably before my therapy session on Monday.)
Please get in touch if you would like to help finance a full staging of my Hollywood Haggadah! And please feel free to share as I feel this is really one of the things that should make me famous (also preferably before my therapy session on Monday).
And remember:
Tradition teaches us that in every generation we should act as though we were personally involved in the making of Cleopatra, the greatest film ever made. God knows, I do.
